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The Four Questions that Will Change Your World

Michelle Mattsen May 14, 2020

These four questions will change your world. In the book, “Loving What Is “, by Byron Katie, she states these four questions are what you need to ask yourself the next time you get mad, upset, and then judge someone. Actually, it is good all the time.  It’s like being your own coach.  These questions help walk you through whatever situation you happen to be going through. The absolute thing you MUST do to make this work is to be HONEST.  You MUST be TOTALLY HONEST with yourself. Can you to that?

Think of a situation or issue involving another person that is happening to you right now and ask yourself these four questions.

1) Is it true?
2) Can you ABSOLUTELY know that it’s true?
3) How do you react when you think that thought?
4) Who would you be without the thought?

In the first question what typically is stated as the truth is actually assumed, presumed, or only half true and sometimes it’s just a personal opinion.

The second question is a kicker because many times you may only know part of the story and then the rest of it is your opinion, a viewpoint is filled with assumptions.

The third question has to do with how you feel when you think these thoughts. How many times have you found out some unpleasant information and then started to fill in the rest with the “what ifs” all the while having your emotions run higher and higher when in reality you know very little about the actual facts. It’s about separating the absolute facts, like in court, versus feelings and opinions.

On the fourth question you ask yourself how you would feel if you didn’t have that thought. What would your mood and emotions be like?

TURN IT AROUND
When you get done asking yourself, honestly, the questions you had about another person, then you turn it around and replace that person’s name with your own, yes, with your name.

– Is what you’re upset about really something that you’re not doing or being?

– Are you all those things that you’ve just blamed onto someone else – most of the time it is?  Another word for it is mirroring and sometimes we don’t look too pretty when it’s really yourself you’re judging.

These four questions will have such a profound effect on you if you answer them honestly. It’s hard. It’s meant to be. It’s about accepting and loving what is. You can’t achieve growth as a human being unless you’re willing to go where you don’t want to go. If you’re uncomfortable, good, you’re growing. The good thing is that if you don’t like what you see, change the picture. Change doesn’t need to be viewed negatively, change can be positive. It depends on your perspective.

Since doing the work in the book, I’ve learned to not judge other people. When I do catch myself doing that, I immediately turn it inward to see if maybe I do the same thing and then I shut up. It works. Try it. You’ll be much happier if you do.

You can go to www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com to view other books I recommend.

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Michelle Mattsen

Michelle Mattsen

Michelle Mattsen holds a B.S. in International Business and is a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM). Sh . . . read more

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