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Offended? Get over it by not giving away your power.

No one can offend you without your permission. The experience of being offended isn’t occurring in the other person. It’s happening in you. The other person merely expressed their viewpoint. It is you who are taking offense. They are just being who they are.

All you can do is make the person aware of how you feel and hopefully the person would be more sensitive to your feelings. However, you can NEVER change someone else. When you realize how hard it is to change a habit in yourself (lose weight/stop smoking etc) what makes you think changing someone else would work?

Instead of working on changing another’s viewpoint, your time would be more wisely spent exploring what makes you so sensitive to another person’s viewpoint. Aren’t you secure in your own stance? Why should the opinion of someone else even matter to you? Have you ever run across someone who really could give a rip about what anyone thinks? I have and I must admit I’m a bit envious that they’re so oblivious to anyone else’s opinion. It’s actually refreshing.

There have been times when former co-workers and colleagues didn’t agree with me and for a brief moment it bothered me, but I didn’t dwell on it. Why should I? I know that the closest people in my life will still love me anyway even if they don’t agree with me. Therefore, anyone else’s opinion really doesn’t matter.

When you’re offended about something then you’ve just given your power away. You’re essentially allowing this other person’s opinion and comments to affect you. Don’t give into it. Control your emotions. It’s the ONLY thing you can control. In coaching we have a saying, “The only thing you can control is your reaction to whatever is happening.” It’s so true.

If you’re offended then it basically means you’re not confident and secure about your stance on the issue at hand. It becomes easier to shift the blame and hence your power to another then to take responsibility for your own emotions.

If more people knew that that’s what they were doing they wouldn’t do it. They’d take a stand and control their reaction.  No one really has the power to offend anyone else. The soft spot is inside the receiver. The beliefs you hold are expressed in the stories you tell yourself. You don’t have to remain a victim of your stories.

Does this make sense?

“Loving What is” by Bryan Katie is a great book about just this topic. It will help. Believe me, it will.